Have you ever found yourself in a position where someone was always getting to you, always annoying you, or always getting you upset? And sometimes when you have to hear from them, you try to go in with some hope that this time it'll be better. And that positivity seems to backfire because they say or do those same things, so you're annoyed all over again. You start to give yourself more reasons to be annoyed with them because you pile this new offense with all of the old ones that you haven't yet forgiven or let go of. You tell your close friend about the situation and they validate your feelings, and now you're feeling justified. You can definitely cut that person off now or let them have a piece of your mind, right?
If you're like me, you've been through something like this before or you may be going through it right now. And if it's something that's consistent, it probably means it's someone in your life that you can't cut off or completely ignore because they're someone you have to see or interact with regularly (i.e. your boss, a church member, or your family). So what can you do? Of course, you can pray for them to change. Because they're the ones who keep doing you wrong. But what if it's YOU who God wants to develop? What if he wants you to grow the fruits of patience (longsuffering) and/or self-control? What if he's preparing you for your next season where he is expanding your influence and your reach? What if it's not about that person being objectively wrong, but it's about how you respond (which should be with love and forgiveness)?
Holy Spirit humbled me with this thought: "What if I cut you off because of all of your sins against me? What if I held them against you? What if every time you made a mistake, I reminded you of your past ones or labeled you as a problem child? What if when you came to me I was apprehensive and preparing for the worst?" And all I could say was, THANK YOU JESUS!
I'm going to stop here and leave a few scriptures and resources that might be helpful, as it relates to dealing with offenses and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you through uncomfortable circumstances with others.
Homework:
Meditate on one or more of these scriptures as the Lord leads.
Check out the resources I've linked
Share in the comments if you have any resources or scriptures that have helped you.
Scriptures
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentation 3:22-23)
An offended brother is harder to reach than a fortified city, and quarrels are like the bars of a fortress (Proverbs 18:19)
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:21-22)
"I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins." (Isaiah 43:25)
Resources
Emotions & the Heart Study from Daily Grace Co. I had "coincidentally" begun this study at the end of last week. I didn't know how much the lessons would apply as I was navigating a frustrating situation with someone in my life. It's really good for self-reflection. (Think: why do I feel this way about what they're doing to me?). I'm not done with it yet, but Daily Grace Co. is having a $5 sale on this study and lots of other resources. So far, I don't have any complaints and I would definitely buy from them again.
The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. I have not read this book, but my HW is to download it on Audible so that I can listen to it. I have however listened to a couple of sermons that he has preached based on the book, and it has helped me understand why offense is the "bait of Satan." This version of the sermon is long, but it's worth it: https://youtu.be/4xPG4hGvYrk.
I wrote a FB/IG post at the end of 2019 about unforgiveness. I'm going to share it on the blog soon. Be sure to subscribe so that you'll know when I post!
I chose this picture because when do we ever look at buildings from this perspective. Sometimes a perspective shift allows us to see details that we had never seen before or to think about things differently!
Thanks for reading and remember that you are GRACED and that God loves you so much 💜